Love One Another

This post was originally going to be a FB status update, until it became clear to me that it was going to be ridiculously too long. So it's here on the blog, instead.

I didn't expect to have such an emotional morning. Maybe it's the sleep deprivation. Maybe I'm just going crazy. But I have some thoughts that have been heavily on my mind, today especially but really...always. So here it goes:

Two days ago (9/3) I noticed an article trending in my FB news feed, "FYI (if you're a teenage girl)". I noted it on my to-read list. I didn't get around to it.

When checked FB after I got up this morning, I noticed there was a reactionary post trending on my news feed, "Dear Mrs. Hall, Regarding Your 'FYI (if you’re a teenage girl)'".

So I decided to check out both articles. First I read Mrs. Hall's letter (the original FYI to teenage girls). It bothered me a bit. Not a lot, since I quickly jumped to read the reactionary letter and didn't have time to really ponder Mrs. Hall's letter.

Beth's response letter to Mrs. Hall's post really touched me. It made me cry, in a good way. The part that reached me so deeply was "I’m someone who needed a second chance as a young woman."

Wow. Did I change my name to Beth and write a post in my sleep last night? Those are my words. At least they feel like my words. I made a lot of bad choices as a young teenager. When I was  about sixteen years old, I finally wised up and looked around and realized I needed to make some changes. I turned to the people around me, my "friends," for support. But no one was handing out second chances. Looking back, I might even say that my "friends" were the kind of people who had Mrs. Hall for a mother.

After a few months of struggling on my own, I fell back on all of my old, bad habits. Eventually I felt like the only choice left for me was to physically leave my circumstances. I walked away from my school, my friends, and the life I had known. I will forever be grateful for that decision. I look on it with no regrets -- it was one of the the most important decisions I have ever made because of where it has led me during this second half of my life.

When I started at my new school (this was my senior year of high school), I made new friends. Different friends. They didn't know I was looking for a second chance. Heck, they didn't know anything about me. I was a blank slate to them and thus I could become the person I wanted to be, instead of the person I had always been.

But here's the thing -- the real difference: The new friends I found were the kind of people who I imagine must have Beth for a mother. I still screwed up and made bad choices and did dumb things, but these friends loved me anyway. They could see that I was more than my actions, or even the sum of my actions. They knew something I had yet to learn, which is that I am a daughter of God, loved of Him, beautiful in His eyes, and of immense worth. I deserve as many second chances as I need, which are infinitely many. "Beth's children" gave me those chances, and that strength enabled me to become the woman I am becoming.

(Because let's face it, I'm still not perfect. I still need second and third and fourth chances.)

So what am I trying to say in all of this? I think my message is that we should be gentle with each other and follow the example of Jesus Christ, our Savior. He taught us to not judge, and to love and forgive. We should not permit or encourage negative and damaging things, but we also should not neglect our duty to love and forgive and be a light unto the world.

Here is one of my favorite stories about Jesus, as an example of what I mean (see Luke 7:36-50): When a sinful woman came to see Him while he was dining at the home of a Pharisee, Jesus did not say to her, "Too bad. No second chances for you." He permitted her to come and bathe His feet with her tears, and wipe them clean with her hair, and anoint them with oil.

The Savior of the world said of her, "Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little." And to her, Christ said, "Thy sins are forgiven. Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace."

Let us please give people room (opportunity) to change. Let us give them all the second chances they need. Let us enable and encourage each other to become better people -- our best selves. And let us love others even if they don't.

The story of my birthday

As you might recall, it was my birthday a couple of weeks ago and my wish list was pretty simple: I wanted to take the day off. On the fridge I posted a one-page list of all the things I wanted to do (sleep in, eat breakfast foods) and did not want to do (change diapers, be nagged) on my birthday. I'm happy to report that I more or less got exactly what I wanted. Nate also tried to give me money but I said no and returned the funds to the family account. Binging on breakfast foods and sitting on my butt were exactly what I wanted for the day.

I did get some presents. The Burley Bee my mom got us in mid-August was an early birthday present. My sister stopped by and presented the Williams-Sonoma Latin cookbook, and I am ridiculously excited to try out some recipes. It is a very nice book, high quality, with beautiful pictures. I bet she got it for me just because she knows I will test out the recipes and copy the best ones back to her... good thinking, sis. :o)

Here's my funny birthday story for you: A few months ago while we were grocery shopping at Costco, I confessed to my husband that, for quite some time, I'd been fantasizing about stealing one of the customized sheet cakes from the big cooler. Not because I want to deprive someone of their cake (no, that would be awfully mean and sad and disappointing); I just think it would be really funny to have a totally random cake. "Happy Anniversary Mufflie, You're the World's Best Iguana" or something, you know? But not one you made up, just one you closed your eyes and pulled out of the big cake cooler. I'm sure that makes me weird, but let's face it, I have a strange sense of humor. Just thinking the whole random cake thing makes me smirk.

I made this confession and basically forgot that it had come up (except that the next time we were at Costco, I was eyeing the cake cooler and Nate said, "You're thinking about stealing cakes again, aren't you?"). During the two or three weeks leading up to my birthday, he bugged me about what kind of cake I wanted. He wouldn't give my any details about the source of the cake, so then I had to give him layers of options. ("If you're making a cake, I want XY. If you're buying it from a store, then XY or XYZ or YZ would be good. If you're going to a fancy cake shop, then I want AQP or IGSH or LLZB.") You know how it is.

Birthday morning, he sneaked away for 20 minutes, then tried to secret the cake back into the house. Since I didn't know why he left or when he'd be back, I confronted him about abandoning me to have to do some work while he was gone ("I had to change a diap.... oh, what's that thing in your hands that you're trying to hide from me?") I was shooed away, but did I want cake before lunch or later in the evening? Duh, I wanted cake right that second. So I impatiently waited in the living room while he loaded up a handful of candles and then started singing a sweet, if a bit off-key, Happy Birthday.

(Poor Darling, with the singing and the cake, she thought it was her birthday all over again!)

I was presented with this chocolately surprise:

And yes, I giggled intensely the entire time I was cutting, serving, and eating the cake. It still brings a smile to my face.

(Later in the week, I also got an awesome card from the hubs: "We make a great team, don't we? You've got the beauty and the brains, and I've got... the best wife a guy could ask for. Happy Birthday." It even made my mom laugh, and that's no small feat.)

It's all B-stuff this week? (baby, books, Ben, and B's birthday)

If you saw my kid this week you might think we, her caretakers, are abusive or at least highly negligent. She's started standing up a lot more and "cruising" around a little bit, which has meant a few bumps and bruises. Until this week I always prided myself on the fact that I keep a close eye on her and she hasn't had any serious nicks or falls. After a series of hurts this week, I now hang my head in shame.

At the sitter's this week, on Monday, she fell down and bit herself, resulting in a cut and bruised lip. (It only just finally healed.) Wednesday when grandma was watching her, Baby Girl bonked her head on the piano bench, right next to her eye, so she had a nasty little bruise on her temple. Then on Friday morning while I was making breakfast, she got tangled up in the small metal step ladder -- tried to climb it, of course -- and managed to both scrape and bruise her thigh. As if that wasn't bad enough, she also kicked a piece of chicken wire yesterday while I was carrying her and got two long, angry-looking cuts on her calf. Arrg! I feel like an awful parent. Poor girl.

The neat thing about Darling's slowly increasing mobility is that she's shown an interest in climbing. I can't really let her out of my sight anymore, but it's a lot of fun! She likes to climb up onto chairs. She has her own special chair for which I'm planning to sew a slipcover (I have the material, I just need to find the time and courage; I might work on that tomorrow, on my day off). Isn't it such a cute chair? She loves it and so do I!

Check out the video of her crawling into her chair...

This week Darling demonstrated her understanding of "bye bye" and kissing. She now says "buuuh buh" and waves when we say goodbye. And if you ask for a kiss, and she's willing, she'll pucker her little lips and make a "mwah" sound when you kiss her. She mostly only does the kissing thing for her dad, of course. She's pretty fond of him.  :o)

Moving on: I just finished a book this evening called "War Wives" and I'm still not really sure if I liked it. The premise was good, the setting interesting and the story line very detailed. But there were a lot of characters and I feel like I never really got enough time with each person in the story, never got to hear each woman's story and connect with the characters. The book was a good length, but tried to cover too many people, events, and too long a period of time (several years) within it's pages. It either needed to be longer or have fewer characters, quite honestly. But I'm not sorry that I read it...?

Here's some news that isn't mine but is very exciting: My BIL and his wife Amy (you remember them, of course) finally found a house! They have been looking for awhile and have wrestled with the market in San Diego, where buying is still competitive and it's tough to find a started home in a decent neighborhood for a decent price. But they found a great house this week and we are VERY happy and excited for them. We can hardly wait to go visit. If you care to know more about it, you can check out my SIL's blog (amykissesmike.blogspot.com).

Speaking of houses, we have way too much on our plates right now. My brother Ben came down for a couple of days this week and did some housework for us. The to-do list is just impossibly long -- I need to stop adding projects to the list, blarg, bad B! Ben started primer-painting the chicken coop and sanded most of the pieces of wood that are going to become the stairs on our front deck. I started staining the wood, but have only gotten about halfway through. Meanwhile the deck has no stairs.... I'm sure it's wearing on our mailman's patience. (Sorry buddy, and thanks.) But on the bright side it's probably deterring would-be salesman... because we get a lot of those (not) in our neighborhood.

The biggest news of late is that my birthday is very soon... it's tomorrow! Yay! Nate's been bugging me for a birthday list. I finally provided one on Thursday. Basically I asked for a day off from stress and responsibility. I'd like to sleep in, take a long shower, perhaps go bike riding or shopping, do some craft projects, not have to clean anything or change diapers.... and I'd like breakfast foods available all day. Nate said he was going to buy me presents, but I said no, what I really want is just to sleep and take it easy. Seriously. I don't want people or stuff. I also don't want a messy house or an unhappy kid. I just want to be selfish and unburdened for one day. Tuesday I will go back to work and life will resume, but tomorrow... tomorrow I get the day off.

I know I still owe you news about baby bike seats, plus I want to talk about making candy, but oh... I'd rather get started on that very long stretch of sleep! Another time my loves. Until then, adieu.

Going old school with "20" questions

Does anyone remember those old "20 questions" emails? They were pretty popular back when I was in middle and high school. I use to enjoy them. I always loved it when I would get one from my sister because she has this snarky, sarcastic sense of humor that totally cracks me up, and invariably she gave the best responses.

My sis-in-law Amy posted one on her blog a couple weeks ago "tagged" everyone. I promised her I would fill it out. She's had her baby since then, so I'm pretty sure she doesn't care anymore, but a promise is a promise. Here it goes...

Words you always mis-spell typing: None come to mind.

Words you don't know how to spell: Nauseous. I have to google it every time; drives me crazy. I also struggle with necessary and occasionally. Why does necessary have a single c and a double s while occasionally has a double c and a single s? Bah!

Things that really annoy you: Bad drivers!!! Probably because my mom is an exceptionally good driver, and thus the standard to which I hold all other drivers. No one else compares; only grandma even comes close.

What's that meal you can always eat over and over again? It changes. I go through phases where I really love one particular thing and want it all the time, then it gets old. Recent examples include Moroccan chicken, mango chicken, Thai food, and QBC (quinoa, broccoli, chicken). Now that I'm looking at my list, maybe I should just say "chicken dishes". :o)

Do you brush your teeth at night? Yup. Can't sleep unless I've brushed my teeth. I also brush after lunch and sometimes after breakfast.

Dumbest movie ever: Napoleon Dynamite. I hated it after about 15 minutes; I wanted to kill myself after about an hour. I'm not trying to be dramatic -- I loathed that movie.

What's a song that you would be embarrassed to admit you really like? Hmm. Nothing comes to mind.

Are you capable of eating an entire bag of candy in one sitting and not feeling THAT sick? I'm not. I would hurl.

Do you love sea food? I love a few types of sea food. I miss my bro-in-law's cooking for precisely this reason; he prepared salmon and halibut better than any other person or restaurant. Yes, even better than Tony Starlight's salmon.

When you fix meat, are you anal about what you've touched, and sanitize a lot? Yes. I try to make N8 take care of "the meat part" of meals because ugh... I just hate it.

Do you put your leftovers in the fridge after dinner in fear of it spoiling or can you wait? I've become a frequent reader of food-related articles the last couple of years and have consequently learned a lot about food safety. Things go in the fridge within an hour, staying out only that long if they need to cool a bit first. I get uncomfortable if food is out any longer.

Do you use a sponge or rag to wipe your counters? Sponge! They are super easy to sanitize in the microwave and do a better job clearing off surfaces (in my opinion). Plus, after a sponge gets a little old, I can use it to clean the toilet and then throw it away!

What's your favorite Holiday? Flag day.

What's your favorite pie? Apple, but really only if my grandma makes it. (Okay, my mom's is pretty close to gma's; I like it too.)

What's your favorite candy bar? It just depends on my mood -- sometimes I want caramel, sometimes peanut butter. But I always return to Snickers, so I guess you could call it my fav.

When you pick something up at the store and change your mind, do you put it away? Always. I think it's exceptionally rude to put things in the wrong spot, forcing someone else to go around and pick up after you. Sure, it's part of someone's job to put things away in the right place, but it wouldn't be if people weren't so rude and would just put things away themselves.

Do you like raisins in your Cinnamon rolls? Yes. But I prefer them un-raisined.

Do you shower every day? Every single morning. I don't feel awake until I've showered. Plus I shower after I work out, and sometimes in the evenings too.

Are your dreams scary? Sometimes.

Do you like scary movies? Love them. Psychological thrillers are my favorites. But I don't like gory movies.

Do you like roller coasters? Again, love them!

Do you have a fear of needles? Yes. It's pathetic. I get light-headed and have been known to pass out. N8 has to hold my hand.

What's your guilty pleasure TV show? Oh gosh, so embarrassing.... Vampire Diaries.

What is something you're really stuck up about? Keeping a clean house. I don't need other people's homes to be clean, but I need my house to be in order. ESPECIALLY the kitchen. I turn into a really scary crazy person when someone gunks up my kitchen.

When you're at a restaurant, can you ask questions about the food? I suppose I could, but I never feel the need.

Are you a lake or a river person? River. I like water that flows; I like to wade.

Are you a good swimmer? Nope, terrible. I can barely doggie-paddle to save my life. This problem is exacerbated by the fact that I basically hate swimming. We had a swimming pool growing up and my friends always wanted me to throw swim parties but I couldn't have cared less. Swimming does not appeal to me. (I don't even own a swimsuit.)

Do you like to camp? Yes but... again with the cleanliness and showering... I have a hard time with the fact that I get dirty when camping. A couple of years ago I camped on a lake, and was able to bathe in said lake on both days of our trip. It was freezing cold glacial water and there were mosquitoes everywhere, but at least I was clean!

Do you like rodents? Not especially. Some are okay, some are heinously disgusting. (Think: hamster vs. nutria.)

Are you afraid of spiders? I don't know if fear is the right word. They make me quite uncomfortable.... They give me the creeps, let's put it that way. When I see one I imagine it crawling on my skin, especially getting in my hair or on my face. Shudder.

If you could be an amazing singer or dancer, which would you be? Dancer. For the exercise benefits. Oh, and the flexibility, which I sorely lack. (Insert teasing from my mom.)

So now I'd like to TAG all of you! Especially Dianne (because she's always so funny) and mom, I know you're busy, so pick your favorite 5 questions :o)