Monday, March 15, 2010

My Testimony

For those of you who are not LDS, a quick note of explanation: In the LDS church, we often talk about our "testimony." Basically, it's a way to talk about the faith we have in things; having a testimony of something means to know of its truthfulness. For instance, if you believe in Jesus Christ, then you could say you have a testimony of Him. (Make sense?)

One more note of explanation: Once a month at church, on the first Sunday, our full congregational meeting is called a testimony meeting. There's about 45 minutes of open mic time, when people from the congregation can get up and share their testimony (i.e., talk about their faith).

Some background, briefly: As I was sitting in the testimony meeting in February, I realized that the anniversay of my baptism into the LDS church was at the end of the month. It got me to thinking about the last seven years of my life, and next thing I knew, I was scribbling notes about what I've experienced and what I've learned. I spent the rest of the meeting writing... and the rest of the week polishing my thoughts. I didn't know why, but I felt a very strong urge to write it down, and to write it well.

All last month, I wondered if I should share this written testimony at the March testimony meeting. I didn't feel a particular urge to share it, so I thought maybe writing it down was just meant to be an exercise for myself. Besides, people don't usually prepare anything for a testimony meeting, so it might be weird of me to share.

As I sat in the testimony meeting this month (March) and partook of the sacrament (also known as communion in many other churches), I pulled out the sheet of paper I had so carefully worked on. The sudden, terrifying pounding of my heart told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was suppose to get up and share it. Groan. Is there anything more terrifying than public speaking? I didn't want to get up.

And so I sat, wrestling with myself, knowing that after we finished the sacrament (communion), I had to make a decision. Would I get up and follow the very clear prompting of the Holy Spirit, or would I deny the Lord?

The choice was obvious. A few nice words of introduction were forming in my head; I scrambled to write them down on another spare sheet of paper.

Then, with trembling hands, I slowly rose and walked to the pulpit. The testimoy I delivered was something like what follows, although I didn't read it word for word...

And now, my testimony:
Seven years. Wow. It's hard to believe sometimes that it has been seven years since I joined the church -- since a very dear friend took my hand and led me into the waters of baptism; seven years since an Elder in Israel placed his hands on my head and confirmed me a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Seven years. It seems so long ago - almost like a different lifetime. Yet it also seems very short.

Much has happened in seven years...

I finished high school. I went to and graduated from college. I got married and started a "career" and bought a house.

Three of my siblings graduated from college. Two got married. One had a baby. Two went back to school.

My neice moved to Ohio, and moved back. My dad's Parkinson's got much worse. My grandfather died.

In seven years I've lived in three different cities. I've moved six times. I've been in six different wards.I drive the same car I did seven years ago, but I've added about 50,000 miles to it.

Thankfully, my car is not the only thing that has endured the last seven years. My testimony has endured, and grown. I still love my Heavenly Father, and I love my Savior. I have come to understand, perhaps not fully but certainly very deeply, how valuable it is to be a member of the Lord's True Church. Knowing the Gospel -- the Good News of Christ -- is one of the most important gifts in life.

Sometimes it's hard to believe that I deserve the blessings that Heavenly Father gives me -- that the Almighty God; the Father; the Ruler over all Creation, could love little old me, one simple person, among His billions or perhaps trillions of children.

Yet He does love me. The Lord knows me by name, and despite all of my faults and my mistakes, He loves me. Every day He shows me that love through His manifold blessings. Every day of the last seven years He has shown me His love.

I am grateful for that knowledge. I am grateful for my testimony. I know that Christ lives; that He atoned for our sins; that the Church is true; and that the Book of Mormon is true scripture. That knowledge has been the most important thing in my life these last seven years, and I pray that it ever will be,
in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

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I dedicate this post to an old friend of mine. I figured, for once, I should be the one sending a nice message in honor of my bbday. To RNC: Thanks for everything.

2 comments:

sarah said...

love it! the yw are so lucky to have a role model like you.

RNC said...

You're welcome for everything :o)
Thanks for letting me be a part of it.